Well usually March is a dreary time here with winter lingering on and on. That's why I picked this particular date for a trip to Hawaii. So of course yesterday was a balmy 65 degrees with sunshine and blue sky. Grrr. Nevertheless, we leave on Friday.

I always over pack for any trip, and with the cruise being 14 days long, it is a special temptation to just load up the suitcase. But I am restricting (or trying to)the heavy things like jeans (!) and instead pack capris. They should be lots lighter, right? Missing the whole lower part of the legs, right? Last time I went to FL to visit BFF, I used such a big suitcase I nearly couldn't get in the rental car, a Mustang. I had to wrestle it into the front seat, because I couldn't close the trunk lid. I'm trying do better. And laundry and dry cleaning on board is free...

I bought a Pandora bracelet last week; for those (like me) who had never heard of them until lately, this is the modern take on charm bracelets. I have the basic bracelet, but no beads on it. I figure it will be a good thing for birthdays and Christmas that the family can buy, they always complain I'm hard to shop for. I never had a charm bracelet back when I was a teenager and they were popular. My sister had a nice one and I was envious, although even then they were becoming passe. Probably these will too, but meanwhile I enjoy the plain bracelet. I'm not taking any of my expensive jewelry (not that I have much) because with my luck I'd drop it overboard. Or fall off, and me not notice until hours later.

The kids have been moaning (a little bit) about having to take care of the horses and inside cats, doing litter box duty every day, and so forth. This a rare chance for them to see how coming home from work doesn't equal dinner in 10 minutes. How much cereal can be eaten night after night? We will see...

Back to bed for me, I'm not sure what time it is, which clocks have been sprung forward. But the headache is gone, so I will doze for a while.

Bumper sticker for the day: "Get even. Live long enough to become a problem to your kids."

Wordless Wednesday

Depression

I didn't mean to let this space go blank for so long. My mammogram turned out fine, recheck in one year. I got our and the kids' taxes done, so that isn't hanging over my head. I have been sleeping a lot, probably due to the change in meds from the psych doctor. All the pets are currently OK (touch wood), the barn is clean, the laundry is done (for now) and the vacuum has been run (not terrific, but done). So why do I feel so down? Dunno.

The trip to Hawaii commences on March 16th, with the mammoth airplane ride to San Diego from Washington DC, non stop, about 6 hours real time. Overnight at the airport Radisson and then on to the ship on Saturday for the 14 day cruise. All the news about the cruise ship sinking, and now one having a fire in the engine room and having to be towed home, is not doing anything for my peace of mind. At least none of them are Holland America ships, which has an excellent record. So far.

We went to visit my uncle and put spring flowers on the family graves last weekend, always a melancholy task. My aunt and uncle are having health problems these days, and I flinch whenever the phone rings late at night, expecting bad news. Instead we get wrong numbers, and who calls after 11 pm, anyway? Not the phone etiquette I was taught.

Thank you, Dina, for reminding me to post. The days seem to just slip by, and weeks have passed before I know it. Hopefully I will have lots of photos to share when we get back from our trip. I am taking my macBook with us, but I think there is a pretty steep charge for internet access, so mainly it will be for camera-to-computer downloads. I have a minicam for video, never done that before, we will see if I too can come up with grainy out of focus shots that can't be deciphered, like I see on YouTube and so on. It will take still shots too.

Lunch time already and I am beastly thirsty, so bye for now.

Bumper sticker for the day: "If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic."

Wordless Wednesday

The above two boxes were for my birthday last week. The one on the right is a music box, and the inserted photo on the lid is a Carol Grigg watercolor from a notecard. The one on the left, the round one, has an insert of pressed flowers, from an old letter. They were gifts from husband and son. Daughter R gave me a yummy candle, maple cream, it makes me hungry just to open the jar!

This is just a note here too, it has been so long since I posted. I had my "re-incision" and all is well. I finally got my hair back to its proper color (4 times dyed) but it is still extremely curly and I think it looks dumb, although everyone says they like it. I had it cut to at least give it some sort of shape, but it will be a while before I am brave enough to post a photo here. Mostly what I have been doing every day is napping. The psych doctor is changing some of my meds around and although I sleep better at night, I'm too sleepy during the day. I don't think we've got the mix just right.

The weather here has been very weird, the forecasters are calling this the year without a winter. We have had so much warm weather that the crocuses are up (tho not blooming yet) and the trees are in bud. On the first of February! This month is usually the one with the most snowfall, but with temps in the 40s and 50s every day, I don't think we will have anything but rain.

I'll leave you all with this bumper sticker : "Save the planet! It's the only place I can get chocolate!"

It's 2:30 in the morning! Go back to bed!

Or that's what I tell myself when I wake up, ready to go, in the wee hours of the morning. Myself seldom listens, so no changes there.

It is bitterly cold here, around 10 degrees, and an ice storm left everything coated in ice, so pretty. So awful to drive on. I hope it clears before the kids leave for work on Monday. We have noticed a big difference in the house with the new front and back doors. The wind no longer whistles through them and we don't have to put down a draft blocker at the threshold, so inadequate. And the furnace doesn't labor night and day to keep the temp in the 60s. Brrr. I'm feeling cold just writing about it.

The horses are all rugged up in their winter blankies, but still we won't let them out in the pasture until the footing is better. I really don't need (another) geriatric horse breaking a hip/front leg/stifle/knee by slipping on the ice. The barn may be boring, but they have toys and its a lot warmer and safer for them and the dogs.

The latest surgery is healing nicely, and I have only steri-strips that fall off after a while. Swelling all gone as is the pain. Next month is a mammogram on the survivor side, and then TA DA time for the Hawaii cruise in mid March. I need to do a final wardrobe check, make sure everything still fits. Nothing worse that hauling along clothes that can't be fastened up! Weight gain is the main side effect of the chemotherapy/immunotherapy I am getting, from what I read online. Why can't there be a drug with the side effect of appetite suppression? Well, whine whine it could be worse; I could be dead from the cancer.

It is now 3 am and I cm going back to bed, hopefully to sleep. I leave you with the bumper sticker of the day: "There are three kinds of people. Those who can count and those who can't."

Wordy Wednesday

I'm typing this at 3 am. I like to think of my nightly sleepy period as a result of a time-shifted siesta. That thought doesn't really work when I crash around 2:30 pm. Maybe I need two siestas?

I have (groan) begun walking on the treadmill. I am afraid that on our shore excursions I will poop out 5 minutes into it, and have to miss the whole thing. So far I can walk 5 minutes at speed setting one, and then I have to sit down. This is what comes from doing nothing strenuous for 5 years. Back when I was still working I could, and did, walk all over the medical center, but I let that level (not that it couldn't have been improved) slip away as I meandered around the house, or strolled through the grocery store. Why doesn't life work backwards, so you could start out with an activity at Olympic levels, and then gradually, slowly, get worse the more you practice? Sounds good to me.

A couple of days ago I drug out the heated water buckets for the horse stalls, and only found one, and that one had the rim chewed up (Maggie's work), and two buckets missing. I have a recollection of pitching one because Maybe (horse) kept chewing and pulling on it until it cracked top to bottom. But there still should be another. However, I am going to order two more ($35!!!each) and also a horse toy called a pas-a-fier for them to chew and crib on. Guess that makes me their enabler.
They've already chewed through one each, which is damned hard to do, these things are not flimsy:



But then, a thousand pound animal pulling on it with all their strength...

Bumper sticker for the day: "Thank you for not being perky."

Friday the 13th

I'm not superstitious about the 13th, and can't see why it should be even more inauspicious just because it falls on a Friday, can you? And the old saw about 7 years bad luck because you break a mirror -- I guess if you walk barefoot in your house, if it's like mine, it might take seven years to vacuum it all up. Some of my dust bunnies are pushing 20 about now. One cedar chest I recently looked under had an awful conglomerate of fuzz and dirt and cat toys; I resolve to not look under there again. And so goes most of the old adages, a grain of sense and a pound of nonsense.

I have been unwell over the last couple weeks, and so my blog has taken a hit when it's come to posting regularly. I can resolve to do better, but only when I feel better too. Meanwhile I'll put out these tiny posts just to let everyone I'm still alive and kicking.

T shirt for the day: "Christ died to wash away our sins -- let's don't disappoint him."

Happy New Year

Too tired to wait for the big silver ball to fall and what's with all the noise?

Comin' at you

I am moving slow tonight, this seroma removal has truly taken the starch out of my sails. I had to remove the dressing tonight, which I am sure the doctor would wish I hadn't; but the itching had me tearing at my skin nonstop. Now there is a rash, but small and sooth able with cortisone cream carefully applied above and below the incision. Somehow I had pictured an incision 2 or 3 inches long with lightweight sutures, and instead I have metal sutures on a large incision 6 inches long. And, may I add, ugly ugly ugly.

Thank you all for the words of encouragement throughout this endless process. It is funny how "here" friends disappear, and "far" friends hang in there. I don't know all of you who send me words of encouragement, but I thank each one of you for even the shortest comment. Should I ever be in your shoes I hope I will pass the hugs and kisses along.

Bumper sticker of the day: "All is not lost - but much is misplaced"

Very tired

I'm back from my "minor surgery", it's 1:30 in the morning and I hurt. I have to leave the drain in till my next appointment, next Thursday. I'm calling the doc tomorrow for something stronger than ibuprofen. Meanwhile I'm walking around to feel better.

Oh yeah, and the first thing they did when I got to the surgery center was to remove my shoes and socks and put on little booties, thereby covering up my pedi and all my callus-smoothing efforts!

I got the loveliest things for Christmas, and got to watch the smiles from the gifts I gave lighting up the faces I love. I gave a rice cooker to R that she wanted, and a small Nikon camera to C, so he won't have to borrow mine. N got a Kindle Fire, which he hasn't put down except to charge it since he opened it. Our Christmas dinner was steak and baked sweet potatoes, so minimal effort and no leftovers yeah! A quiet but satisfying day.

I hope all of you had a likewise relaxing or exciting day with family and friends, and are ready to get back to a normal routine again. Maybe you have this week up to New Year's day off from work and can take in a movie or two. I'm going to watch the DVD of Cowboys and Aliens, it looks like a hoot. But whatever you do, remember to give a little thanks to our men and women in the armed forces who cannot be home just yet, and their families who are eagerly awaiting their return. Bless them.

Back to bed.


Wordless Wednesday, a day late.

Bumper sticker of the day: "Money talks. But chocolate sings!

Same song, second verse

Next Wednesday I will have surgery to remove a hematoma/seroma from the area near the mastectomy scar. Outpatient, general anesthesia, quickly done. I am consciously preventing myself from thinking about it. Tomorrow is Christmas, and that is all I am focusing on for now. Once Christmas is over, I will work on getting the diet and exercise efforts underway. I won't dwell morbidly on the what-ifs and such. I won't.

Note to self: shave legs.

Did you ever hear the definition of "minor surgery"? It's surgery that happens to someone else.

The weather here has been so weird, hot/cold, clear skies/rainy and grey, even thunder. I still haven't blanketed the horses, because the blankets are thickly padded and I don't want them to swelter when the temperature goes up. As long as they are in the barn, they are warm without blankies, the barn keeps out the wind and traps the heat they produce. I am so glad we built this barn, the old one was so inadequate in cold weather. Now they have heated water buckets, hot water, airy stalls where they can see each other, and have that cozy feeling when we shut the big door. A nite light. Toys in the stalls. All the mod cons.


what the well-dressed equine is wearing this season...

Bumper sticker for the day: "It could be worse -- what if sex was fattening?"

Wordless Wednesday

Where I will be in March...

Update

Oncology nurse called and set me up with surgeon. He aspirated the lump, which diminished it, but when I said, "So it is a cyst?" he hemmed and hawed, and set me up to come back on Thursday. What I wouldn't give for a straight answer.

Pondering

What is it about yawning? There I am, in bed, it's cool and dark and I am dozing when bam! I yawn. This in turn makes my eyes water, which makes my nose run, which means I must search out a kleenex, all of which makes me far more awake than I was before the yawn. How weird is that?

And speaking of the word weird, what is that i before e except after c stuff? Weird.

And did you ever notice the word small is a big word, and big is a small word?

When you go to the grocery store, if you don't need a cart, there will be so many at the entrance you can hardly move past them, but if you do need a cart, they will all be in the parking lot?

And isn't it useless to take your car to the shop when it is making a funny noise, when it will never make it while you are there, only as you drive away? I personally need more than a noise to go to a repair place; it has to go knock knock and pour smoke at the minimum.

Speaking of noises, the computer here is making strange clunk clunk sounds when it starts up; but so far no smoke and no blue screen of death, so I'll keep going. It will probably die right after Christmas, when all the holiday bills come in.

Do you think it is a bad sign when the people at the surgeon's office recognize you by name?

"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers."

Note on office door: "I AM LOST. I have gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait."

Worrysome Thursday

Yesterday I went for my every-three-weeks cancer treatment. When I met with the oncologist for the pre-treatment exam, I pointed out an area on my demi-breast (the one that had the mastectomy) that felt like a hard knot. He agreed it was new and ordered an ultrasound, done right then. The unfortunate part is that the oncologist will be out of town for the next three days, and I won't find out any result until Tuesday of next week. Which is eons away, from my point of view. So think good thoughts for me, that this will turn out to be a harmless cyst.

T shirt of the day: "Easily distracted by shiny objects."

Wordless Wednesday

Bumper Sticker of the day: "Think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram."

Sunday

Insomnia again. And not just wakeful, but ready-for-the-day. I'd like to get some laundry going, bake a few muffins, and in general make some noise; this would not go well with husband and kids (30 year old kids), at 3 am. So I come in here and post to my blog.

Friday a week ago we had a minor traffic accident when we were stopped to let a car, three cars in front of ours, make a left turn. Unfortunately this was on a narrow twisty two lane road that gets heavy traffic and has a 55 MPH speed limit. The car behind us couldn't stop in time and rear ended us. Her car, a Chrysler Sebring, was pretty messed up in the front, bumper, grill, hood. Our car, the Lincoln, had 2 cracks in the rear bumper and a small chunk of the bumper missing. Really really minor, but noticeable. This Friday the insurance estimator took a look, and figured up the cost to replace the bumper: $1100. Isn't that insane? Yes, it is a 2010, but still... Anyway I feel fortunate that it was no worse, and no one hurt. I hate that road at the best of times, but especially at night. And we have driven on it every day for the last 30 years, because it is the only road to get home, coming from town.

Christmas is a mere 2 weeks away and I AM NOT READY. The tree is up (see below) but that is about the limit of what has been done. All of us used the internet to buy gifts, so for the most part it is just a matter of waiting for UPS Santa to come. And trying to figure out what is in each box by rattling it. A few mall trips are necessary, but on weekdays. I don't know why this year I feel so bah humbug, other than having cancer I mean, we didn't even get any Christmas stuff out of the attic other than the tree. I think I'll just buy some wrapping paper and call it done. No bows, because the cats chew them, get them all spitty and punctured. I used to make bows myself, all kinds of shapes and whatnot, but that was a long time ago. Humbug.

Did you know that humbug is a candy, like a mint? Peppermint flavor and toffee stripes. Here is a photo from Wikipedia:

Now you know...

Well back to bed, if not to sleep.

Bumper sticker for the day: "The voices in my head told me to buy more shoes."

Wordless Wednesday

Back again

I have enjoyed the break from posting here, but I don't want to get too complacent or I won't be posting for a month. Or more.

The latest here at the cat mansion (we're only here to open cans) is that Mac, the oldest, somehow managed to get outside -- not once but twice -- and cut or scraped his hind foot. It is a very small wound, but he will not leave it alone, and so it seeps blood all the time, staining everything he sits on (meaning, everything in the house). We took him to the vet, who gave him an antibiotic and shaved his foot, and put him in an E-collar so he can't reach his foot. He hates it, and bangs into everything and can't figure out how to back up and give it another go. For those who don't know what an e collar is, here is Mac in all his glory:



New front door, patio door, and all the interior doors have been replaced. Getting rid of all the dark, cheap doors (I call them trailer doors) and replacing with solid oak doors and getting outside doors that don't let the wind whistle in all winter is a tremendous improvement. We have other projects in mind for after the new year.

Christmas shopping is going along OK, no panics on my part yet. I haven't noticed any real crowds except at (ta-da) Walmart. Yes I do shop there, it is 4 miles closer to us than any other grocery store and it has cheap plastic junk that I just can't do without. Plus the photo printing thingys. In the store today, they called "anyone with cashier training to the registers" which I have never heard them do before. I'll bet they have had to lay on extra runs for the armored car pick-ups too.

It's too cold in here tonight to linger over this post. It's me for hot chocolate and a book.