Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Is this OK?

I have been sitting in my new chair and propping my operated-on leg up to help reduce the swelling and the improve the blue tinge in my foot.  Last night I was up in the small hours and my knee did its agony when I tweaked it the wrong way, no fun.  It has been weeks since the original surgery to replace my knee with a prosthetic one.  My message is, unless you are dragging your leg up the stairs, don't do it.  I am so sorry I did.

I am afraid to come down the stairs, afraid of falling again.  I fell a few years ago on the lower set and broke a rib, and on the upper set of stairs I fell and broke my ankle, so fear is an understandable result now.  What if my knee chooses that time to give out?

Monday I was off on a safari to walmart; I didn't plan to get out, just go for the ride.  As we began to get in the car, Maybe (horse) nickered at us from the water trough, and something didn't sound right.  To make a long story shorter, she had had a stroke, and what I saw was her tongue hanging out of the right side of her mouth.  She had the symptoms all on the right side of her head;  ear, eye, pupil,  posture, the whole set of symptoms.  We went to walmart just to get what we needed and then call the vet when we got home, but who did we run into at walmart but the vet.  I think you can find anyone at walmart if you hang around long enough!  Her prognosis won't be known for a week or so; better or worse.  C brought her into the barn so the vet could examine her, but when C tried to halter her yesterday, she did the "I'll kick you!" message, and so she didn't get her shot.  She is on bute twice a day mixed in her grain, we shall see how it goes.  She is 25.  Aren't we having a good time in the last 18 months?

The home health nurse just left this morning, she will be coming weekly until Oct, this in addition to the physical therapist who comes twice a week.  After that, once a week for him as well.  If I could just conquer my fear...

 So far no new visits from possums, the have-a-heart trap works great, and baited with peanut butter it doesn't attract the cats.  So grateful not to have skunks or porcupines, touch wood.


Thursday, August 24, 2017

Post doctor post

I'm back from going to see the ortho doctor, for him to see the progress on my replacement knee.  It has come along quite nicely since the revision surgery on July 12th, and the exercises have contributed to that as well.  It was great to be outside, this boxy bedroom may be large, but after weeks in here I am ready for a road trip.  Not that it will happen... I didn't need the wheelchair, only the walker, and Dr. P was amused by my hand foam padding, "handeze", that has soothed the calluses on my palm.  Earlier this week C came home from a Walmart run with a quad cane, I had practiced with one in the rehab hospital.  This room has 3 inches of carpet plus padding and is not the best place to use a cane, it wiggles around so much.  But I will see.  The therapist will come tomorrow and I am sure he will want me to work on stairs.  Shudder.  I have a very great fear of falling, with good reason.  On the other hand, I don't want to write off half of the house because 13 steps can't be done.

I keep getting messages from Yahoo that I cannot sign in with an unsecured address.  I haven't tried to sign in anywhere unusual, but I changed my password.  I didn't write it down and now I am stuck using a mystery password.  Hopefully it won't matter.

I got a note from H yesterday, it was brief but at least I heard from her.  She didn't follow up on any of the things I put in my last message which wasn't brief, so I don't know if she got it after all.  I think our friendship is slowly sinking.  She moved away 4 years ago, and tho she regularly travels to see her grandson and therefore passes right through this area, she never stops.  I even used bribery, that I would gift her my golf clubs which I only used once, but that didn't work either.  She has a huge number of friends, while I have many many less (like 3), and it would be hard for her to understand the isolation that causes.  Then there is this damned knee surgery, but we won't go there.  Anyway, sadly, it is probably past time to move on.

I want very much to get my nails done, but logistics interfere, and so I have bare nails for the first time in a very long time.  They look peculiar short and without polish, but it won't hurt to let them grow and get smooth again.  Gel nails are really strong and absolutely do not pop off, stronger than my natural nail which means they must be soaked in acetone to remove them.  Mine are all gone because my nail outgrew the gel tip, a matter of several weeks.  We women are such slaves to our appearance  ;-)

Speaking of appearance, I have been getting some cosmetics through eBay and thru subscription sites, a new wrinkle for me.  I enjoy fooling around with makeup, tho I usually don't use it day to day, once I retired and didn't need to impress anybody.  I struggle just to keep showered and my hair colored.  Speaking of which I need to get it colored now, if I can maneuver in and out of those chairs.

The eclipse was a non-event for me; I slept through the whole thing I am embarrassed to admit.  C said it didn't get any darker than a dusky-like time, although the darkness confused the crickets and began to chirp.  Someone had a really neat solution to looking at the sun, they just used a colander and moved it up and down to focus the image on the ground, a whole lot easier than making a pin-hole camera, but a similar method.  The photos I have seen on line show the sun very plainly, but no solar flares off the corona, probably only scientists are interested in that detail.  Or maybe I am surfing too widely to find the right images.  Anyway, another eclipse is due in 6 years which will pass directly over here, I must try to time my nap better.

Sunday, August 20, 2017


The only reason I know what day of the week is the local newspaper, C puts it on my breakfast tray.  Even so I get off-track about appointments, what day they are scheduled and where they are.  I see the surgeon doctor on Thursday this week, and I hope he has an uplifting explanation on the reason for the exquisitely painful thing that makes me want to go back to bed and never emerge.  I don't trust my knee, I don't see how I can give up my walker when it will hold me up until the pain dissipates.

Enough about poor-me problems.

I really really want to hear from H, I am desperate for someone outside of  the house (and my therapists) to help me focus on everyday things that have nothing to do with knees.  I know she is very busy with her job, and most likely writing a note to me feels like another hurdle to face.  She has been a friend for a long long time, first as a therapist and then as a friend, and she knows me like no one else in my life.  I am afraid if I seem to be nagging, etc., she will give me a pleasant goodbye.  My other close friend is my nail lady, and as I mentioned before I can't get in her house to get my nails done, with the walker.  If I could just convince myself that a walker isn't necessary now.

Whoops, there is that knee thing again.

I have a chip in my front tooth, a souvenir from my surgery, but the dentist's office is small and crowded.  C has a dentist appointment tomorrow, so he can scope out the in/out of going there for me.  
I hate going to the dentist, but now it fells like a safari expedition.  The chip isn't that worrisome, it is one on the back side of the tooth.  This is the second time I have gotten a chip from anesthesia, don't you think the surgical people could guard against this?  Maybe they do, and I just don't know.

The cats are still trying to get in this bedroom every time the door is open/closed.  We now have a squirt bottle with water that can be used to back them off for a few moments, in theory.  There is so much stuff heaped in here to make room for me and my walker, there are dozens of hiding places for a cat.  They eventually do come out to be scooped and expelled, so it doesn't seem like there is much incentive to sprint in here.  "Other side of the door" syndrome it seems.  I go out in the hallway to sit on the bench there and give them all scratches and belly rubs.

I am enjoying my cross stitch projects, there are two currently being worked on, I switch back and forth when I get bored with one.  Of the "Kitty Trio" one I have finished one cat and begun the second one.  The first one was a black and white, and the second cat is a tabby, much more difficult to do, changing colors every few stitches.  The second project is a sampler for 45 years of marriage, and it is bigger but much simpler in design.  I have tentatively lined up another pair of projects, but I won't begin them until these are done, or nearly so.  Then I will need to gently wash and press the finished item and take it to Hobby Lobby or A.C. Moore to be framed, big $ I am afraid, I am very particular in selecting mats, glass, frame and it all adds up.  And last of all I need to figure out where to hang them, not enough blank walls to go around!

The mess in Va. is weighing on my heart, I am surprised at the number of protesters and counter-protesters involved, and the hate-filled white supremacists who think these violent confrontations are part of "free speech".  Clearly they are delusional, and slept through history class, if they think Hitler is a model for anyone at any time.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

all things considered

I have had a rough couple of days.  It is especially painful when things have been sliding along so well, but Monday around 5:30 am I started to swing my legs back onto the bed when my knee seized up and I felt the most excruciating pain.  I put my leg back on the floor, and after I cried for a while, I called C to help me back into bed.  Today my knee still is stabbing me when I make an incautious move.  The therapist came yesterday and said there is nothing wrong with my knee, it was just one of those nerves getting pinched.  I am not trusting my knee now, especially for tricky moves like in and out of the shower.  The pain was an easy 10, then.  I am so sorry I have gotten this replacement done, my knee would have given me another year or more before becoming critical.

This computer, the Mac Air, is getting wonky as I write this, I hope there is nothing really wrong with it, just one of those "nerves"  getting "pinched" there too.  I would hate to have to send this for repair.

We will be getting hay delivered next week, 150 bales.  It seems like a lot of hay for one horse, probably will last until the last of the year.  The farrier comes on Friday to do the trimming of her hooves, and we will be set for another 8 weeks of that.  The vet came while I was in the hospital and trimmed the growth on her right ear, it was a bloody mess, but we are trying to keep it from occluding her ear canal and setting up the condition for an ear infection.   She is not calm enough for routine treatment with an antibacterial dressing.  I hope she doesn't go rapidly with this condition, as it is, the vet fee is $300 for  him to come out and excise it.  And it makes her rub and scratch at it on the posts, opening it up again.  I am starting to think of putting her down.  C has suggested giving her to the
shoer, but I don't  think it is a good idea for her; she has never been  turned out with other horses, she has been stall-kept when necessary (weather), and at 25 is too old to breed, etc., or to change her ways.  I will have to make a decision soon.  I had to put her mother (dam) down several years ago, she had damaged (broken?) her right hind and after weeks of treatment could no longer stand or walk.  I found her brother laying in the field, dead, causes unknown.  So much for drifting into an eternal rest.

The last year and a half have been one loss after another, starting with the death of my husband, and I am afraid it will continue with the death of this last horse, having taken the dogs too.  Several of our cats are aging a lot too.  If I can get a good shot at the damned possum in the garage that will be one loss I won't mourn.  Filthy animals.  Maybe a have-a-heart trap is the answer, bait it with peanut butter so the cats aren't trapped by accident.  Amazon to the rescue.  Update:  The trap did the trick and we released him waaaay out in the woods. Update to update: we caught another possum the following night, and saw a third one that is very large; May have a coon too, since we find cat food in the water bowl, where coons like to "wash" their food.  We are setting the trap every night; there has been rabies found in the area...

Saturday, August 12, 2017


This MacBook Air is starting to request sign in for every app.  In return, I have written  all the passwords down; it is a nuisance.  Hope it is just a transient problem.

C killed a millipede last evening, it is so icky.  I don't care that they eat other bugs, it is just too gross looking.  The thought of having one ON me is too creepy, I would have to take a shower then and there, and hope the single one is all there is.

My knee is doing pretty good, all thing considered.  The therapist (s) are coming 2 or 3 times a week, and I have been faithfully doing the exercises that they recommend, they are all OK except for the "sitting push up" ( rising out of a chair half-way and then sitting down again for the next one),  that one really hurts.  That, and the one where I prop my heel on a cushion, and let gravity pull the knee straight.  I have to lift my leg off the cushion when I do 10 minutes of this.  I hope I will be able to whip through the exercises soon, without breaks.  As it is, it takes me 30 - 40 minutes to do these.  So much fun.

I have all of my nails short, and the nail lady who does them is unavailable, as I would have to walk across her lawn, And then maneuver inside the tiny house to get to the little corner where her nail stuff is located.  She has offered to come here, but for now I will just wait and see how compromised my walking is.   It looks weird to see my nails au natural , I have kept them done for around 15 years, maybe more.  I am one of a handful that she still has, after closing her shop 2 years ago.  Maybe I will give them up altogether, we shall see.

This is really boring, all this minutia of my life, and it is 4:30 in the morning so I will quit for now.  Ciao.

Monday, August 07, 2017

Knee deep

Well, OK, I missed the last week of June and all of July, and the first week of August.  I had knee surgery on June 26th and It Did Not Go Well.  I fell and split the incision open, and had to have revision surgery, and 4 weeks in a rehab hospital.  Now I use a walker and a wheelchair for the foreseeable future, and I am upbeat about being home and being able to use the internet.  Of course there are those pesky bills, but I am sure all will be OK in that department soon.

Right now I can't do stairs, so I am restricted to the bottom floor, where my bedroom, bathroom, and computer room are located.  Outside of the kitchen I can't think of anything I need upstairs for now.  I am a little cabin feverish but being at home is so great I am not looking for any expeditions that might cause me to fall.  There are home health therapists scheduled for home visits too.  I am not permanently restricted, just until all is done healing.

Our cats are feverishly trying to get here in the bedroom, but they are not allowed in, I cannot put away non-cat safe items (like Yarn) so they must settle for peeks through the door.  Except for Beans, who has a magic ability to materialize between your feet when she even thinks the door will open, It is a little spooky, but she is promptly returned outside the door.  I am very pleased at how much cleaner the room is without cats, barring the post-fall stains on the brand new carpeted floor which are really hard to remove.  A small price to pay.

Since C is home full-time I can call him if I need any help, I just call him on his cell phone.  R is helping me with showers in the morning and on weekends, which was the main drawback in the hospital.  I feel that I have been incredibly lucky in the long run.