Saturday, May 04, 2019

Lazy May-zy

I can't seem to stay awake today, I'm not sure why.  I took some Ambien last night, but the effect should be long gone. So I will just yawn my way through this post, hoping for something coherent.

Did you ever have something you know, but wish you didn't?  That's me.  I think some things are best unshared so your whole mental landscape isn't shaken to bits, at least for a while.  I hope it is for a short while.

I saw my friend on Monday, we ate at IHOP; it was the only place open for breakfast, along with Denny's, but IHOP turned out fine, I had cannolis which were delicious, and it was so good to see her after all this time, 4+ years.  I hope the next time isn't so long.  I feel like everyone else is moving along, and I am stuck here marking time.  My exercises, which I do every day, throughout the day, aren't paying off that I can see.  I'm going to try using the cane more, resigned to the likelihood that I will fall at least once.  My original ortho doctor made the front page of our local paper, he was caught in a sting operation for illegal drug prescriptions, pretty much as rumor had it months ago.  I can't help but wonder if he was impaired (?) during my first surgery when the infection set in.  I asked him several different times if there was an infection, since the wound was red, swollen, hot, but he said no, if it was infected I would have a fever (I never run a fever) and there would be pus.  So the 6 total surgeries that were needed to clear the infection are to blame for the weakness in that leg, all the muscle atrophied with the need to have no weight-bearing for months.  The original surgery was done on June 26th of 2017, nearly two years ago.  The final surgery was on Feb 19th of 2018, over a year ago.  My advice is, if you are considering joint replacement, and they tell you 1 in 100 odds of problems, think really hard about what if YOU are the number 1, infection being only part of what can go wrong.  That doctor had academic and professional awards out the wazoo, but that didn't help him either.

Another pity party, sorry.  Tough to think of many cheery thoughts mid-afternoon on a Saturday, a lovely day, and me stuck here in this room.

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