Words of Wisdom, Country Style

Never argue with someone drunker than you.
Never sleep with someone crazier than you.
Never corner something meaner than you.

Don't try to make a silk purse out a sow's ear. It won't work and it annoys the pig.

There's a reason bulls are mean. You'd be vexed too if your woman just stood there and chewed her cud while you were trying to get it on.

Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.

Don't squat with your spurs on.

The easiest way to to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swallow.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Only cows know why they stampede.

Lettin' the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

Don't name a pig you plan to eat.

Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

Life is not about how fast you run or how high you jump, but how well you bounce.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.