Memories

On the 29th of July was my mother's birthday.  This year she would have been 100.  She died when she was 80, so she has been gone 20 years.  It is hard to believe this, for me, it seems like a year or so.  She was in a nursing home for the last 4 weeks, as her caregiver (my father) was pitching a fit every time the hospice ladies came to the house, begging them to not leave him alone with her.  Since she was 6 months in hospice care, I don't know what he thought was going to take place at the end.  He wouldn't go to the nursing home until I insisted that he come on the last day, and drove him there so he couldn't change his mind.  He held her hand for no more than 15 minutes, and then wanted to go home and for me to call him when she died.  Mind you, she was awake and alert until about the last hour, so she knew what was going on.  When I called him to tell him that she died, he said, don't leave me here alone.  Say what?  So we went to get him to take him to our home, he wanted to bring the dog, but that was out of the question with my household of cats.  That worried him more than Mom's passing, go figure.

I don't know what made me drag those memories back, I ceased berating myself when Dad died, 3 years later, when he was 80.  Old news.

I went to the "old" mall a little earlier today to walk in an uncrowded place, air-conditioned and with a lot of benches.  I did OK, with 2 or 3 pauses.  I had to remember that however far I walked, I had to go back too, but C was there with me, and there was no hurry necessary.  It was the first time I had been in the center court since all the anchor stores, and then the little stores, all shut down.  It is where the early voting takes place, in the old Goodwill store.  You know a place is in trouble when even Goodwill pulls up stakes.  I saw a few other walkers, and if I went on Saturday instead of Sunday there were probably more walkers.  I raised a bit of a sweat but I had no pain to speak of.  And what if it was painful?  I still want off the walker, and I need to do more than a stroll down the driveway to get better.

The embroidery floss that came yesterday was a real shocker.  I knew there was DMC floss, and some knock-off floss made in Mexico, but somehow I missed asking about the proportion of each, and of course the DMC was only 40 percent.  I don't know what to do with the rest, I'm thinking I'll Goodwill it, someone will get to use it on a project, or the floss bracelets the girls are wearing around here.  Teach me to not jump to conclusions.

"Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

I hope all of you who read this are having a peaceful day before the usual Monday madness.  Every Monday I appreciate being retired (which I did at 55) instead of having to go to work.

Although I would go back in a flash if it meant N was still alive.  I never thought he would be the first to go.

Time to wrap this up.  Thanks for reading!