two too tarred to tango

Of course this post has nothing to do with tango-ing and everything to do with being tired. The ( exterior of the ) barn will be finished by the end of the week. Right now it lacks trim, gutters, and oh yeah, a ROOF. And doors. Meanwhile the old barn demolishing goes on and on, since it seems to take us just as long to take the barn apart (so that we can re-use a fair amount of the lumber, to save $$) as it did to initially raise it. Except then, we were 20+ years younger. And I feel it in every aching joint. Never thought I'd miss my knees so much.

As a result of no roof, it has been necessary to move the hay yet again to get it under cover. I'm on a first name basis with some of it ("Hay there, you're looking a little tattered and pale, bale"). I feel guilty as hell for leaving the horses with no shelter during these daily downpours and thunderstorms, even though it's warm and the storms blow over in 15 minutes. I'm sure we will never get all the overlapping parts done, like: run the water and drain lines, then pour the concrete, THEN get a plumber to hook everything up, after we find a sink cabinet for the old sink, but the concrete will need to be painted in the tack room where the sink goes first, and the stalls can't be assembled until the floor mats are down, but first the stall floors have to be covered in crushed stone, and then tamped with a tamper which we will have to rent, after we get the crushed stone delivered and moved inside the barn after we rent a skidder, and after the floor mats are on, they have to be covered in coarse sand, which will also have to be ordered and spread, and before the horses can go in the stalls, we need to put wood shaving bedding in, which will have to be delivered, once the spot for it is concreted and a low cinder wall on three sides built. And a cover for it fabricated. And the tack room will have to be built so I can get all the tack out of the self-storage place (more $$) and don't even get me started with the electrical wiring, which must be done by a genuine electrician and inspected before the power company will run the line to the barn, once they put in a new pole. Madness, all of it, and at night I go over and over it all in my mind, trying to get it all straight chronologically. That's what the burning smell is. Fried brain.

And we get filthy on a daily basis, which means more dirty clothes, and towels, and who has time for laundry?

And we pick up the new puppy this weekend.

Anyway, that's my rant for today.

In a different vein, I have finished the Harry Potter book and found it quite satisfactory. I have a novel partly finished, and as the plot unfolds, if I need to put some twist in earlier, I go back and edit the earlier chapter. So I am in awe that J.K. Rowling figured the entire **series** out, covering 6 years and more, before book one was printed and thus beyond editing, so the continuity of the plot would be uncompromised. But you know what part made me cry? >>>>>>>>> Spoiler alert <<<<<<<<<<







It's when, all alone in the Forbidden Forest, all the battle done and friends lost, Harry held the Snitch to his lips and whispered, "I am about to die." This resonated with me in a way I couldn't have expected, and which moves me still. Because I too faced self-selected death, twice, all alone and lost in my pain. I didn't succeed, and have overcome some or most of my pain. And I am here and thus can lose myself in Hogwarts and Harry, and enjoy more and more of life. Touch wood.