Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Road warrior

One day last week it was actually warm enough to put the top down on the Miata. I was on my way home, sitting at a light to turn left, when the car behind me honked his horn. I started guiltily and lurched out into the intersection before I realized the light was still red! The guy behind me was laughing like a maniac. I got out of the car after getting my handgun out of my purse, walked back to his car, said, You want funny? Try this on...and shot a hole clean thru his windshield. There was a pause; his windshield starred all over and fell into his lap. I got back in my car and drove away. No, that's not what really happened. I sat there, half way into the intersection, for an eternity while the cars in the other direction squeezed past my bumper. When the light finally changed, I turned, inwardly seething but outwardly cool, and the yahoo behind me zoomed past while I gave him the one finger salute. Ah, but on the other side of town, there he was again; only this time he was pulled off the road and Smokey was writing a ticket. Sweet! I tooted and waved for real.....

And what's up with this weird weather? I saw girls in shorts last week, brrrr. But it was warm, 70 degrees one day. Today it was 3 degrees when I got up this morning, time to break out the warm boots. I hate it when my feet are cold, the rest of me can be sizzling but if my feet are cold I'm miserable. How come hot flashes don't reach your feet? I saw a great bumper sticker (I collect them, a virtual collection of thousands now) that said, "I'm still a hot babe, only now it comes in flashes"

So you suppose women in hot climates get cold flashes? I wonder about these things, I feel like someone has to. Like, do you think female bullfrogs are called cowfrogs? Is a whole group of sealions called a pride? Do you suppose they call it "medical practice" because they haven't gotten it right yet? Are we "patients" because we have to wait so long in the office before being seen? Why is "backup" a good thing for your data, and a bad thing for your tub?

Someone has to keep track of these things.

No comments :