Friday, May 20, 2016

Checking in

My psych doctor called me today to see how I am doing.  She got the urine drug screen results, all 100 of them, and that I will be pleased to know that the "none detected" included heroin, ecstasy , cocaine, and that the ones detected included toprol (BP control), Seroquel (antidepression),  etc, all my prescribed meds.  She was quite amused, why someone thought it was necessary to do this panel, and if I get a bill from LabCorp or the hospital to just set it aside and she will carry the battle to them.  Whoosh!

 I'm nearly done with the minutiae of Norm's affairs and I am determined not to do this myself when I pass.  It's funny, sometimes, before his death, I would think, Hmmm, I could do this different if I was alone, not seriously considering.  Do you know, I have found very few of those things.  So far I have decreed that bananas go in the fridge, the horses stay turned out even when it rains, the cats don't get fed at our dinnertime (to get them out of the kitchen), and so on.  The one large change I will make, after all the dust settles, is to trade the whale (Highlander) for a Lexus.  That is if I have enough money to handle the purchase.

It is this time of day when my feelings of loss overwhelm me, midnight, and I know nothing will work to fix it.  Grit my teeth and go on.  Every time I would walk past his easy chair, he would reach out his hand for me to hold for a few seconds.  Now I sit in that chair, and my son is the one who reaches a hand to me.  The more things change, the more they stay the same.


"There's no time like now to postpone doing stuff"

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