Saturday, February 05, 2005

Broken ribs 8, other 2

Well, that title makes it sound like I have multiple injuries, when what I meant to imply is that silly "On a scale of one to Ten, with 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt, How would you rate your pain right NOW? And I'm flummoxed. I don't want to sound like a wimp. TEN TEN! Oh GOd make it STOP. The hangnail is SHOOTING up my arm!!! I don't want to minimize my pain, by saying, oh around a 2 (COMPARED TO THAT TIME I FRACTURED MY SPINE), maybe they'll go pffssst, here, take two tylenol and call us in the morning..... because we are talking serious pain. So I wind up saying something like, I can't bend over, can't roll over, can't bear to have anything touching my rib, and they look at me expectantly and say, pen poised, so on a scale of one to ten.......
And then, they want you to get undressed, climb back on the gurney, get pushed down to xray (wham click click click, WHAM click click click - bad wheels) and climb on another trolley tray, (narrower and resembling those stainless steel ones that cafeterias use for cole slaw.) When we have just ascertained that you can't move below the waist without screaming. I feel like I am really too sick to be in the ER. Finally they give me a shot of Real Painkiller to get things going, do CAT scan, strap ribs up, send home just in time for the Real Painkiller to wear off. Now you're at home, little better off than before you left except a.) "painkiller" pills (more like industrial strength tylenol) b.) ugly beige strap that has mysteriously rolled into sausage just under your boobs and c.)an official Broken Bone diagnosis, good for one day's sympathy from one family member (if you're lucky). 16 hours later bring us back to the wee hours of the morning after spending yet another excruiating night not sleeping because of said rib; you call your doctor, go back to the top of this post and repeat. On the way home you THROW the ace bandage and those STUPID little metal clips out the window and stop at WalMart for one of those black lumbar support Velcro back wraps that fit snuggly, do not roll, and can be adjust without the combined efforts af 4 other people. Soon you will be back to the top of this post again, only by now you are asking for those pain meds by brand names " is that the XR? No codeine, right?" And thus we come to today, strapped, zapped and drugged to a fair-thee-well.
NOW I can maybe get some sleep. As long as I don't have to sneeze, cough, or laugh anytime soon.

1 comment :

Carolyn said...

Oh you poor thing!! I can practically feel your pain thru this post. Not to make light of it, but when you describe that bandage rolling like a sausage, that got me, lol! I hear ya, been there, done that, with those rolling sausage bandages :)

Get some sleep, dear, or get some Valium! Always works for me. Take good care.
Carolyn at The Ginger Quill