The 10th of November marked six months since my husband died. I hate using "passed" and other euphemisms for dying, but the straightforward 'died' seems to startle conversations when the subject comes up. Ah well, this too will pass. The main change in my behavior is that I am ordering tons of stuff on Amazon and winning items on eBay. When N was alive, he made remarks like "what, another package?" and I felt like I had to defend every little thing I bought. And they were universally cheap things (under $25, some less than $10) and even though he kept the accounts paid up without stress. Now that he is gone, I have nothing to rein in my purchases, and I have used that freedom a lot. 50 orders in the last 6 months. I always called it "retail therapy" and in the past I would physically go shopping at the mall, etc. Now that I can't safely drive myself ( neuropathy in my feet, it is impossible to feel the pedals) it is all done online. I want it to be like Coyote in the Road Runner cartoons, when he puts an order in his mailbox and the immediately the item is delivered. The impact is missing, because the order might be something non-exciting, like new ink cartridges for the printer (which cost the earth), etc. My son is disapproving when he collects the mail now too, but what can he say? It is my $$$ now. Even the mailman is disapproving, he put a flyer in our box for how to order the new larger mailbox. I duly ordered it ( and when it arrived, it was hand delivered to the house because it obviously didn't fit in the box). So I put the name and box number on the box, and when my son took it out to switch them, he found that although the new box is wider and taller, it is 8 inches or so shorter. Not helpful at all. So it went into the garage to be used if the current box is flattened (like in the snow when the plow comes through). There has also been quite a bit of returning things, for which I get no pleasure, since I pay the return postage, worse than buying stuff.
Anyway, I am slowing the ordering down, and I find my attention turning to my knitting, cross stitching, and so forth. I found stuff that had been in a closet when I sorted through the stuff coming back into the my room. I have filled a huge trash bag, and donated boxes and boxes of useful stuff. For example, I donated huge amounts to one of D's friends who is a 3rd grade teacher. They won't have to buy pencils until the next millennium, I think. Much "stuff'" has also been donated to Goodwill. I would include Salvation Army, but getting in and out of their parking lot is a nightmare.
Photos of the room will be forthcoming soon, aren't you excited?
I opened one envelope from the mail that included a check for $$$ as our settlement in a class-action lawsuit from 10 years ago. Unfortunately the check was made out to N. No problem depositing the check, but the letter included a W-9 from for the IRS so I could collect $$$ more. So I called the legal phone number, and she told me to send the form in my name and the check (sob) back to them, and they would issue another check for the whole amount made out to me. I hope I haven't been too conscientious. I shall see.
Well I have gone on and on in this post, even I am bored, so I will stop. Hope this lovely cool weather continues for a few more weeks, it is one of the reasons this is my favorite time of the year. Besides, I could rummage around in some more boxes, see what it in them. Exciting things like a huge tub filled with socks.
Thought for the day," I’ve decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust."