Saturday, November 10, 2007

My closet

It has been brought to my attention (ahem) that perhaps I have, to a certain extent, over several years of course, gotten a litttle carried away in the clothing department.
To bare all, see photo below:

This closet is eleven feet deep.
This is supposed to be a walk-in closet, but it's more of a sidle-in closet, and being a touch claustrophobic, I have to wedge the door open while I'm in there.

BUT in my defense, I would like to document, once and for all, all the clothing I >DON'T< own.

I have nothing that has sequins or glittery bits. Nothing with "faux fur".

No jeans that are "low rise" that leave a little poochy bit visible at the top (are you listening, ladies?).

No sweat pants except the ones I paint in.

There are a few dresses, and none of them are low-cut, spagetti strapped, or slinky.

No wool sweaters (itchy).

No 'holiday' outfits - no Christmas sweaters, halloween sweatshirts, Easter bunny designs.

No capris, ankle-beaters, high-water pants, or pedal pushers (do they still call them that? I doubt it.)

No cargo pants (I carry lots of "cargo" already!)

No polyester elastic waisted slacks (Please! I'm not THAT old!)

No shirt or jacket that ends at or above the waist (If I have to tug it down, a la an officer on "Second Generation" I don't want it).

No horizontal stripes.

No paisley, tie-dyed, rude logo shirts (been there, done that.)

No tank tops and no sleeveless shirts of any kind.

No leggings. I don't think they even make them in my size, and just as well.

No chiffon, pierced, or see- through shirts (there's nothing in there I want to share).

No "house dresses" (shudder).

What I >DO< have:

Lots of silk shirts. Two pairs of silk slacks, used exclusively for going to the doctor for weigh-in purposes.

A lot of suede jackets, skirts, and slacks. (Never worn at weigh-ins).

About 50 pairs of jeans, in every conceivable ( mostly dark ) color.

A lot of T-shirts, most not fit to be seen in public, unless I'm running out to buy paint.

A lot of sweaters (they're still packed up).

A lot of long sleeved shirts, to cover the scars. Most are in solid colors, or at most a subtle design.

Two (?) pairs of shorts, since I look so great in them, both coming and going.

Two pairs of custom made leather chaps (don't look at me like that! I used to show my horses in Western classes, where they are "de rigour").

I reluctantly confess to one Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger shirt. The one with Mickey Mouse is a sleep shirt.

Five or 6 winter coats, in various degrees of warmth.

Oh yeah, one mink coat. I don't know what possessed me. In my defense, I bought it on ebay and it is at least 50 years old. I've only worn it once, and that was to the grocery store (don't ask).

So really, with just a little more space I'd be set. Say, that back left corner where male clothing hangs....

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