Thursday, August 18, 2005

You bruiser, you!

Last night I got up in the dark to make an unscheduled trip to the euphemism. When I got back to bed, I mis-estimated exactly where the wooden headboard of the bed was, and cracked my cheek against it instead of hitting the pillow. Now I have an obvious purple-ish mark on my cheek, one which my very sheer makeup doesn't really cover.

So of course today the constant question is, "What did you do to your face?"

If I say, I hit it on the headboard of the bed, the men immediately get this "Ah-HA!" look, picturing wild hi-jinks in the marital bed.

If I tell the women the same thing, I get this ultra-sympathetic look and "Oh you poor thing" as THEY think, "That cad, look what he did to her!"

So I've decided to lie and say that I have a highly contagious blood-borne infection that requires me to be at home for at least a week, recuperating. That way I'll not only get sympathy (you don't get much for sheer clumsiness at the best of times) but I'll also get to stay home! On sick leave! Which I don't have any of! Hmmmm, maybe I'd better rethink this. Maybe I'll just stop on the way home and buy some concealer.....


Milt Bogs said...

A highly contagious blood-borne infection sounds good to me but then so does "That cad".

Carolyn said...

Or you could always just blame it on the cat. Cat's are great trippers and everyone would believe you tripped over your cat, fell on your cheek against the sharp edge of the coffee table, and now you have this weird blood borne infection. ;D